why do i feel this way
by southparkjelly
Summary: kenny, butters, love, and loneliness. this is pretty much a lead up, read this chapter or u wont get the next story titled unspoked emotions.


Kenny awoke in a daze. Still thinking about the boy who had had just dreamed about. Butters. Butters was all he thought about lately, during class he would always glance to the back row, looking into the eyes of the innocent boy. But after butters hadn't come to class the day before, Kenny was worried about him. He didn't understand why he was all of a sudden so interested in him.

Kenny had decided that he would go get some air, the house he had lived in all his life was getting to groggy for him. Looking at the small clock in his room above his door, the large hand pointed to two and the smaller hand was pointing towards the six. "It's only two thirty." Kenny said solemnly. Grabbing his parka from the foot of his bed, he pulled it over his head. Pulled the hood up and then pulled the strings as tight as he could. One of the strings snapped. "Shit, I knew that would happen soon." Kenny wondered outside slowly with his loose hood still hanging limply on his head.

Wondering the streets at night was nothing un usual for Kenny, he had been wondering the streets at night since he was in grade four, but now he was sixteen and his life was still shitty. Sure he was used to it by now, but the very few possessions he had where of no use anymore. He stopped by a lamp post and leaned against it using his full force. He looked at the snapped string on his parka, he had had this parka for a long time and hated to see it even more wrecked than before.

Looking up into the light of street lamp, closing his eyes he could still see butters in his head. He had never really felt what love was until now. He knew it was love because stan had told him what it was like to love someone with every fiber of your being. Kenny might not feel that strongly for butters but it was pretty close. There was a pinching feeling in hi heart and a tingling all over his body. _'I wonder what butters is doing right now?'_

Kenny thought back to his dream, butters had been playing in the park all alone, just like any other day after school, no one played at this park anymore except maybe butters. Kenny had come up to butters, the look on butters face made Kenny's heart wrench. He had never felt this way before. Butters was burying something in the sand, Kenny put his hand on butters shoulder. Butters never even looked up to see who it was somehow he just, new. "Kenny, I'm so sad. Fluffy d-died today, and my m-mom and dad didn't even care. I cried for so long, I miss him k-Kenny. He was my only real f-friend." A small sniffle came from butters as Kenny sat next to him in the sand. "That's a lie butters, I'm your friend. And I love you." Butters turned to face Kenny and jumped onto him giving Kenny a hug and sitting crying on Kenny's lap.

Kenny would never forget that dream, and how much it hurt his heart, but none the less Kenny carried on down the street. alone, kenny was always alone. his dad was a dirty drunkard and his mom was abusive towards them.

wondering the streets was a normal event for kenny, he had been wondering the streets ever sinse fourth grade, but something felt different today, he didnt know what, but it was something. suddenly he found himself at butters house. he looked longingly up into butters bedroom window, wishing he could be in there right now, kissing his soft lips and enveloping himself in butters scent. a soft wind blew kennys broken hood off his head, revealing his matted blonde hair. thick patches of cirt clumped his hair.

a small tear that fell down kennys cheek had gone unnoticed as he leaned his whole body against butters house, cold and alone. kenny closed his eyes, longing for the warmth of someone, longing for the touch of butters soft hands. within minutes, kenny was on the cold snowy ground aleep and still very much alone.

* * *

kenny was awoken by the sound of the window above him opening. a face poped out of the window and looked down to find kenny lying on the ground, the sun in his eyes. 

"KENNY! WHAT IN HECK ARE YOU DOIN' SLEEPING ON MY LAWN?" butters quickly slapped his hand over his mouth for fear of waking his parents up. he closed his window and ran down the stairs as fast as he could, opened the door and dragged kenny into his house. "Kenny, KENNY...oh geez, oh god, oh...what am i g-going to do now." kenny awoke on butters living room floor, witt butters staring down at him, blinking rapidly with a scared look on his face.

"Oh, hey butters."

"KENNY! what in the heck were you doing on my front lawn, s-slepping of all things! were you drinking again!" kenny shook his head no. "how the hell do you think i got here, i walked, i was waiting for you to get up and i fell asleep. stans picking me up in his car so i better get going , i just wanted to say hi, incase we never saw each other in school." kenny tried his hardest to cover up his feelings for butters. "oh, well if that was all, ill see you later then."

Kenny leaving upset butters, he wanted kenny to stay and talk to him for a while. butters really liked keny, maybe more than he had ever liked anyone. maybe, in the wrong way. butters shook the thought out of his head as kenny ran out his front door and home.


End file.
